vetiveroil

 September 18th, 2026 Today we left the office an hour early. It was nice, I decided to head to an Indian shop to buy some (extremely overpriced) Persian Ice Cream by the pint. On my way there, I went into a mall I'd been in many years prior with my good friend J. It's funny how destiny plays out - years ago that area was unfamiliar as can be, and today, it happens to be near where I work. Funny. Anyway, I got the boba and continued down. I was enticed by a Psychic sign, and decided for a $20 special, I could make a quick stop. It was a tiny apartment, the front door was locked, but after a few knocks, the psychic let me in. We sat down, she encircled my right hand with a tiny misshapen piece of White Quart, took some deep breaths and started to 'read' me. She was accurate in saying that I was feeling rattled energetically. It's true, I don't feel quite settled, or like my normal, usual, and grounded self. I haven't the slightest idea what to 'do' wi...

 September 12th, 2026 Today I underslept, overate, and overspent.  Classic Taurus Moon shit.  I woke up early for a virtual training session, which I found to be boring and a little long. Thing is that I woke up too late for it, and didn't have any time to eat prior, so I was totally bored and disengaged throughout. The principle of her teaching, though, was quite useful: cultivating a relationship with one's own body. I think my approach to exercise has come from a place of ritual, self-numbing - not really engagement.  Afterwards, I drove to Trader Joe's for some seasonal items, most of which I did not find, but then I took myself to get a piercing afterwards, and nearly $200 later, I had two: a conch and a helix piercing. I quite like them, I think. It's round two of trying to heal a helix piercing, hopefully it sticks. The owner of the piercing shop I went to and I had a nice chat, she was very sweet. She and I spoke extensively about my Accutane treatment, and s...

 September 6th, 2026 I spent my day out in NOFO today. All the way out East - so far out, it felt as mystical and mysterious as Timbuktu. My good friend S ended up surprising me with an eight hour day driving through NOFO (North Fork) full of the most whimsical things. We began our journey in Carvelton - it was a sprawling Lavender farm with so many varieties of Lavender I never even knew existed. The Lavender was harvested, so we weren't looking at much, but I discovered that I love French Lavender - I got a cute body spray that smelled nice and soapy, a candle, and a very fragrant Spiked "Lavender plant (generously gifted to me by S) that I am going to plant.  Afterwards, we drove to a dairy farm, and I got a heaping scoopful of the most delicious Lavender ice cream ever (S got Cantaloupe). Then, it was time to drive through wine country for a tasting, and at this point, the sun was out, so we just basked in it and made small talk before walking through the field. I was full...

 September 4th, 2026 Today is the Friday before Labor Day. The weather was beautiful. It was the last day we could leave the office early, and I ended up leaving around 2PM. I went to SoHo and got myself an overpriced smoothie. I went alone, because my friend couldn't make it out, but that was half the pleasure.  Walking through the streets was like being reminded of what I wanted my life to feel like. I realized that I spend a lot of time forging the conditions I'd like to live in, but very little time actually living in said life. What's the point of that? I got myself heaps of cheap gold plated jewelry, a Billie Holiday vinyl record, and it was the best day ever. I found myself wondering how I'll pass the time the next twenty two months I'm intending to be here. Then it dawned on me that it was the wrong question to ask. In twenty months' time, I'll be on the cusp of twenty seven, and those twenty two months is time off the clock that is my life. I'm ...

 September 1st, 2026 Today allegedly starts the later half of the 2020s, which feels mind boggling to say. It was humid in the city today, but there was a nice breeze. August really ushered in September beautifully. On my end, it was a busy day. Filled with busy work. And busy thoughts. And busy errands afterwards. Now I'm home, and I'm thinking of how this isn't a Summer I can do over . It'll be crystallized in time - the Summer I turned twenty-five. I couldn't imagine myself at twenty-five until I was seventeen years old.  This realization prompted me to go back in my camera roll - back to some screenshots I wrote in 2019. It prompted me to think of myself at eighteen. To be in her head, and reflect on her dreams and hopes. Does it make me a failure to be flailing in place at twenty-five? Does it reflect negatively on me, if I've flipped her world inside out in search of a peace that may or may not ever come?  There are so many opportunities to look ahead and ...