NOFO

 September 6th, 2026

I spent my day out in NOFO today. All the way out East - so far out, it felt as mystical and mysterious as Timbuktu. My good friend S ended up surprising me with an eight hour day driving through NOFO (North Fork) full of the most whimsical things. We began our journey in Carvelton - it was a sprawling Lavender farm with so many varieties of Lavender I never even knew existed. The Lavender was harvested, so we weren't looking at much, but I discovered that I love French Lavender - I got a cute body spray that smelled nice and soapy, a candle, and a very fragrant Spiked "Lavender plant (generously gifted to me by S) that I am going to plant. 

Afterwards, we drove to a dairy farm, and I got a heaping scoopful of the most delicious Lavender ice cream ever (S got Cantaloupe). Then, it was time to drive through wine country for a tasting, and at this point, the sun was out, so we just basked in it and made small talk before walking through the field. I was fully tipsy at this point (LOL). We drove down to Greenport and had lunch by the marina (it was absolutely delicious and the view was gorgeous) and then we sprawled out again on some beach chairs close to the water while I ranted about my work dilemmas and laughed with S about how I must've been a hell of a boss in my past life to get the karma I experience with news jobs. It made me feel less crazy. 

On our way back, we parked at a bank, and walked down to their Main St for sight-seeing. Among these sights were: a jewelry store where I got a braided leather bracelet, a Ralph's where I got a kid's size vanilla cone with rainbow sprinkles, a knife shop run by a Taurus man who also created decorated knife sheaths and was a former chef, an art gallery - which coincidentally was having an exhibit we stayed for - we met a couple, the man was a full time artist, whose work was on display, his wife was a very bubbly publicist who exchanged Instagram handles with S and I and I helped myself to 3 chcoolate chip cookies form the snack table before we left. 

I’ve been “tapped in” lately. By that, I mean to say that I’ve been less hypervigilant and more indulgent. For some time now, I’ve kept myself on a tight leash. Walking a tight line to avoid more chaos, and preferring a more controlled way of navigating the world, which has entailed neutering myself. Shutting myself off from some of my deepest sensibilities and in a way, it explains why I’ve felt like I was always in a state of starvation. 

I found my appetite on the marina, then in a spacious and cozy art gallery, and then in a knife shop. It all felt really satiating, and in the back of my mind was one thing: 

By suppressing my rawest instincts, am I bestowing upon myself the karma of eternal unhappiness? 

The loneliness, the anxiety, and the perpetual feeling of simply not measuring up to an ideal that does not align with what I am. 

I guess I am drawn to Lavender these days, not just as a result of the farm, but historically. I cracked my essential oils and healing book from where it sat in the back of my closet to see what that was about, and surprisingly it reads pretty accurate. There are signs everywhere for those with eyes to see.

I enjoyed the slow paced experience, the feeling of being in a small town, with lots of nice people around, and the need to be 'right' didn't really exist. I loosely entertained the idea of moving out there, and S laughed. I revealed to her that I didn't care very much for the city anymore, I never knew that I would enjoy living in a small town, and yet here I was. I vowed to take a second trip during the winter to see 'both' sides of the area, and I think I still will.

We headed back around 7PM, when the sun was starting to set. I failed at taking good pictures of it, but overall, as we drove back, i found myself craving that familiar peace. That feeling of being so unbraced, I risked getting carried away. So relaxed, I risked complacency. I left NOFO wondering how I could feel that way permanently. 

It was close to 10PM when S dropped me off home with the plant, and gift bag, and a hug.

I added the birthday card to my vision board, which, it dawned on me that my bedroom is full of evidence of her - last's year's card, framed pictures we took at her birthday party last year, various trinkets she's gifted me, and so on. It was revealing, but I mean it in the best way. 

Before jumping into the shower for bed, I messaged her:

I’m glad, thank you so much, again, friend. I know I’ve said it a dozen times, but it still doesn’t feel like enough. This was like top 5 most fun days I’ve had ever in my twenty five years of living. I’m so grateful for the effort and time you put into making it special for me. Thank you for it all. Matching with you on Bumble remains one of the best things that’s happened to me in recent years. I cannot express how much it means to me to have such a wonderful friend like you. I love you deeply, thank you again, from the bottom of my heart. 🥺🥰

I'm so grateful for her. 

- vetiveroil