WHAT DID I DO?

July 27th, 2026

Lately I keep finding myself bracing for something to go wrong, and when it does, I always ask myself:

What did I do?

Is there a blindspot somewhere? Am I not seeing what others aren't seeing and maybe that's why I just leave a bad taste in everyone else's mouth? 

You were kind, and warm, and somehow by the end of it all, I turned you cold as ice, and I'll never know why. Or how. 

What did I do?

I thought I was putting my best foot forward. I thought I was being my best self, and somehow even that didn't stop the stench from hitting the back of your throat. 

I think I was putting on my life vest, and maybe I elbowed you in the process. 

I stopped afterwards to see that you were okay, but by then, it didn't seem as though you wanted to speak. 

I tried to show you that it was an accident, but you'd stopped listening to me by then. 

Am I such a rotten girl that I could convert a friend into a bitter foe unknowingly? 

Could it be that I hurt people unknowingly?

Is it simply in my nature to be so violent? So turbulent?

Are my attempts at presenting as ruly, neat, and pleasant simply a farce?

An out of touch dream that I can never embody fully?

How come you want nothing else to do with me? 

How do you speak when someone has their back to you?

How do you speak without letting your pride cage your vocal cords?

Now I'm turning back to you, and once again asking myself:

What did I do?