MOUNTAINS

 June 13th, 2026

Today, I considered getting down from the mountain. 

In my research on Human Design, I recently found out that was my environment. It makes a ton of sense, people with this environment have an affinity for smoking, burning incense, etc. This environment is said to be primarily about perspective. 

I find most of it to be very relatable. I am not fond of prolonged exposure to noise, large crowds make me feel anxious rather than energized, I've dreamt of having a loft for the longest time ever. I remember a guy I was seeing many moons ago telling that he sensed I was more so wanting to observe things happening rather than experiencing them happening. That was a very good observation, because I find that mostly life is quite mundane, it's the meaning derived from these mundane experiences that give me insight. 

Anyway, I have been in a spiral. In part due to the fast changes coming my way, that I am unsure that I'm equipped to handle all at once. Mostly it's about work and the future. It's all hitting me at once. I feel fried and I just can't figure out why. I keep telling myself that I just need to reorganize things, and I keep setting new benchmarks, and it's making me realize I need to get off that metaphorical mountain. At least for a little bit. I need to avoid setting new short term goals (anything under 6 months, to be honest) and focus on simplifying what currently exists so I don't have a nervous breakdown and lose all that I've worked so hard to build in the past two years. 

I think a large number of my stressors are coming from the fact that I am particular about what I want moving forward, and constantly analyzing myself to ensure the right things are being worked on to yield the right results. I need to chill a bit. 

Maybe coming down from that mountain will allow some more oxygen to flow to my brain, LOL. 

I'm hoping to catch a whiff of normalcy. 

I gotta train myself to do that. To accept that. 

- vetiveroil