THANKSGIVING THOUGHTS

 November 27th, 2025

Today was Thanksgiving Day. 

It's been a wonderful day, my mom and sister cooked, and I didn't really do much admittedly (#womaninmaledominatedfields). But I did wash the dishes and clean up to make up for it.

I went to the gym earlier, but it was packed, so all I got was ten minutes on the stairmaster and so I went for a forty minute walk before eating. 

When I got back from my walk, I realized I couldn't be more amazed at how different life looks for me today vs a year ago.

Saturn stationed direct after months of being Rx, coincidentally, it's the 1 year official anniversary of my surgery and those two things seemed threaded together by more than a mere coincidence - but then again, if there's one thing I'm good at, it's finding meaning in the mundane. Sometimes I have to conjure it myself.

GOALS FROM MID-DECEMBER AND ONWARDS:

Today I think I made up my mind on what I'd like to do in the new year. School's been disqualified for the next few months. That is in some ways, a relief. I'm intending to lock in with a few goals:

1. Drop 9% BFP in the next 3-4 months

2. Start body recomposition via strength training

3. Take a solo trip to Amsterdam in the Spring

4. Study + schedule LEED GA accreditation test

5. Set in motion my next career pivot into another industry niche

6. Start swimming lessons weekly again

Life since August/September has started to feel a little dull, and I'm engaged with my current commitments, and it's important for me to see things through, even without knowing where I'll go next. But the thing is that I have walked this trail before, and I know great changes are on the horizon. Not necessarily good or bad, just different. By focusing my attention on these things, I can make sure that I'm taking advantage of this time vacuum to propel me forward. 

  ❤  THOUGHTS ON CHANGE, CYCLES, AND LIFE FINALLY RESUMING FOR ME AGAIN:

The wonderful thing is that life has begun to speed up, or specifically, my life has. For many years I felt like I was at a stalemate. Any moves I made felt lateral at best and there was no end to it in sight. Life felt like it was on perpetual pause. I guess you stagnate when you're living in a dishonest way. I was not honest about myself, my wishes, or my capabilities. I poured my attention and efforts into relationships that really didn't feed me in order to avoid coming to terms with my fears. Severing those connections, committing to losing the weight, and then re-centering my life around myself was a smart move. It's paying off in dividends and to be honest, it feels like the payout is just beginning. 

I had a heart to heart chat with myself last night, I was honest about what I desired from life, especially work wise. I was cognizant of my strengths, and acutely aware of my weaknesses (Virgo behavior LOL). I was forthcoming about what I wanted - it wouldn't be something linear or traditional by any stretch of the imagination. I have a very specific dream for my life and future, and it seems to be something that will have to compound over time. I have various things I am interested in, and also weirdly, very high standards for what will be worth doing (at minimum) 40 hours a week for the next 30+ years. I don't want to cheapen myself by simply going with what yields the most return but feels dreadful to do. It feels like a waste of a life. Somewhere in my heart, I feel like what I want is not only possible, but within reach. 

None of my life experiences thus far have been conventional, typical, or linear. I'm odly flexible where some are brittle, and vice versa. But my resilience generally is quite pronounced and I am not as scared of reinvention as I once was. If there's one thing 2025 in large has taught me, it's that I will topple and rebuild over and over again. Sometimes you have to excavate deeply before you can topple or build, but the upside to that is that I know I'm not stuck in that old house unless I choose to be. I'm continually looking to refine my home and that's an evergoing process. 

LATE BLOOMING/COMING OF AGE:

Something that is also emerging in my life is just a sense that I am coming of age. It is one thing to be of age (whatever that really means) and feeling that shift psychologically. It has only started for me recently. The feeling of being..mostly at home in my body. That feeling has given me the security I never had as a teen/girl to explore my appearance. I felt in those days that I simply was defective, and no matter what I liked, it simply did not look good on me. I'm realizing what I like and don't like as of late. I've developed a habit for shopping - and shopping used to be something I dreaded and hated, especially trying on clothes. Another thing about the trip I'm planning, I'm wondering if it makes sense to try and date. My transits look like so much fun at that time (9H Venus, 5H moon, 7H Mars, Jupiter 10H, etc.) My soulmate is not a Dutch man, I am certain of that (LOL), but it might be nice to experience what dating looks like abroad. I wonder if I'm ready for that kind of shift and experience. Time will tell. I've decided to start savings weekly for the next 20+ weeks to make it happen. Hopefully Amsterdam doesn't bore me to death. 

Many changes are ahead, but I am grateful, I still recall the days I used to pray for times like this.

- vetiveroil