PERCEPTION & VALUE

September 4th, 2025

Lately, I’m getting around to thinking about what it means to be valuable and what it means to be perceived as such.

Why is it that some people are seen as valuable (despite doing/giving very little) while others aren’t valued at all (despite doing/giving a lot). Admittedly, I’m asking for myself. I find that I’m able to make do with sometimes very little. Part of the fabric of my personal philosophy is to turn every situation into a win. Professionally, despite some issues I’ve faced (personal and systemic), I’ve always managed to leave with more than I started with through my own efforts and merit, as well as some divine luck.

And yet, I can’t help but feel undervalued as though the things that I do and ways in which I contribute aren’t seen as important or worth appreciating.

Being that I notice this..

Should I care?

Is it worth it to try and shift the perception?

I’m asking myself this on multiple fronts. Romantically, professionally, platonically.

Black people have always been seen as valueless unless someone else is benefitting from us (our labor, our talents, etc).

I think I would not care if I had a strong sense of intrinsic value. And to define it would be to name:

➹ I believe I am intrinsically valuable because..

• I have a very sharp ability to sense value in even the seemingly invaluable things.
• I recognize opportunities and leverage them to my advantage.
• I am a very emotionally resilient human being. I regenerate over and over until I’m satisfied with the result.
• I am constantly improving myself. I hold myself in high regard, and even when I falter, I have the sense to course correct.
• My ancestors love me. They prove it to me often by supporting me.

➹ I have to keep reminding myself that my value doesn’t come from:

• My looks
• Having money
• My associations to other people

I’m realizing that my value has to be self-determined. It can’t be according to what other people think, because of my skin color, my sex, my body, even my personality — because of how those measure up with the world’s standards, the feedback will always be skewed. I have to remember not to shorthand myself on that basis.

In spaces where I was perceived to be not very valuable, I’ve still been able to make way for myself. Perhaps my value is tied inwards, making it difficult to be used and that’s why I’m received the way I am.

I was struggling some weeks back about allowing myself to experience the pleasure and joys of dating. Both from having my hang ups about my perceived value and as far as what that meant in my mind. I realized I was suffering from “bullied kid syndrome” (not a real thing) and feeling like a perpetual runt because I was taught to see myself as valueless in comparison to my peers. And then I realized that was simply an indicator that I did not have very very clear or strong values. That I was insecure about everything that I was. Value is all relative, and manipulating my personal worldview so that I can stand tall in it is foundational to making and keeping myself happy.

If nowhere else, all that I am should be the most valuable in my world.

How do I hone in on my own true values and figure out a way to live a fulfilling life from it? One that isn't easily swayed by the judgement of others? Or by others' success that could be achieved by tweaking and divorcing myself from my own integrity?

I know I want a lot from myself and for my future. I’m okay with living in very little now if it means I’ll have more in the future. Sometimes I do that so much, I have a hard time distinguishing between the now and the future. That is something I'll unravel another day.

- vetiveroil