7.23.25

 July 23rd, 2025

Today was taxing as hell. 

Maybe it's day three of my period, maybe I'm just running on five hours of sleep, and maybe it's because I haven't eaten more than like 600 calories a day in the past 4 days - I am spent.

I went to the park for a long walk after work today, 45 minutes and 3 miles into it I realized I fucked up. I was too tired to walk back and so it was sleep in the park, or risk passing out. I didn't pass out, thankfully.

Today I received exciting news - I was approved to proceed with something I asked for at work. An opportunity to upskill, and I feel so much more secure about it. 

I am tempted to start overthinking and doubting myself. Yet there's a part of me that knows clearly the things I want, and is willing to pursue them head on. 

I have to keep reminding myself that the entire journey won't always be visible, and sometimes taking the first step is what sets things in motion - and said motion is constantly shifting according to our personal rhythm. That is okay. I have a rough sketch of what I envision my future being like, and doing something I respect and appreciate is a cornerstone of what it means to live well to me.

Not everyone is fortunate enough to say they do what they love, but for me, it's just not an option. Even if I have to work at it for some time, I will do what I love. 

I've read that the ultimate objective of Virgo ascendants is to find and devote themselves to their unique and sacred calling. I suppose that's a noble objective to have, and I think my obsessive and perfectionistic tendencies could be put to better use. 

I am struggling to write today. My mind was going a mile a minute, and my emotions were all over the place. Surprisingly, I don't have much to say other than that I am grateful.

July was hellish in its own way, but it's closing out nicely. I have been able to tighten up my errors on my current projects. Hopefully nothing else comes up, I'm finding a way out of my rigidity and social awkwardness. I'm even finding a way to quell my anxiety for the time being. 

I am choosing this as my fortune of the day:

I'm choosing to believe that the steps being revealed are leading me towards where I'm meant to be. That's all I have the energy to believe in tonight.

I took my sleep supplements and I have a pounding headache. I'm knocking out soon.

- vetiveroil