PREFRONTAL CORTEX DEVELOPMENT - BRAIN DUMP

 August 16th, 2026

Last week was a rush, and I am just now catching up.

It's been amazing. Actually, this past week is the most fun or pleasure I've experienced consecutively since April, when I passed my exam. I feel a little (lot) less manic now than I did then, but still a good feeling is lingering. 

I, of course, got my Oura ring, which I am thrilled about. I've been making some consolidated efforts to improve my overall sleep, and somehow, the difference is quite noticeable. I will try to be in bed by 11PM, even on the weekends for continuity. I also got some magnesium spray, a Lavender Milk body lotion I am excited to try, and some Neuro "mints" - some sort of melatonin sleep tablet I intend to try tonight. I am concerned about starting my period on Thursday, since, that is also the day I meet a client (a personal friend of the owner of the company I work for now) and this is going to be my first chance to work at a project I can shine in. I'm NERVOUS! However, this is also a 19 Arcana year, and so, I must remain confident and visible to make the impact I am looking for.

My sister made reservations for three of us (me, our dad, and her) yesterday at an Indian restaurant, it was very cool, my first time going to a restaurant with valet parking (LOL), and besides that, the food was tasty. Can't recall the name of the dish I tried, but it was spicy chicken, with a side of fluffy Basmati white rice. Yum! Today I grabbed coffee with my friend before our weekly workout, it was a new place I saw on tiktok last week. Then we hit arms, mostly, and then did twenty minutes of an incline walk, and I realize how I need to lay off the sugar and sweat more profusely. The workout wasn't my finest work, but a bad workout trumps no workout any day. Later, I am going to dinner with my mom, her partner, and sister - this time it'll be Persian food, and I'm so excited for the Persian ice cream. I can't complain about this birthday, twenty five came with a sweetness I didn't imagine possible, after so many years.

My workout friend (who has an identical twin) wished me a happy birthday, and said that I was in my last year of making bad decisions because my frontal lobe was nearly done developing (LOL) - but she also reassured me that I had a lot of life ahead of me, and that was oddly comforting. I'm so grateful. She gave me some context I had no idea about, which is that her sister had been dealing with a very toxic job situation, and that my successful leap two months ago inspired her to quit, obtain a new credential, and move ahead. That was shocking to me, but it also made me feel good. I have a bad habit of assuming that just because I wobbled in attempting to leap, that means it was less of an impressive feat. Quitting that company was perhaps one of the best decisions I ever made in my adult life. I am so grateful. 

I shared with this friend also that I had given myself a realistic timeline of two years from now to grow and learn before taking another leap. She was surprised and laughed, and I just said that it was necessary to think several steps ahead when trying to pivot, and it's true, in my experience. It's necessary to prepare yourself for the future outcomes you are trying to inspire ("manifest"). I'm sitting in my bedroom now, writing out this entry. On my vision board, I have a ton of photos, flashcards, heart shaped leaflets with "wishes" on them, etc. I started highlighting them orange that I have a visual reminder at all times that I am a very skilled planner and manifestor (Virgo rising). For instance, I said months back I wanted my Oura ring, and I got it on the day of my birthday. I was prepared to pay for one, but thankfully got it from my sister. I said I wanted this credential to yield a 33% increase in salary, and it did just that. I said I wanted a job with wider experience, I got just that. I said I wanted to have a set physique, and I am working towards that. Now, I am thinking of all of the things I want to make true in this next year, so let's write out a few:

I. Be promoted to PM at my current company - raise increase of $25K+

II. Slash my SRU debt to below $3K

III. Clear my FAFSA PP loans to under $5K

IV. Visit Detroit, MI for Labor Day weekend 2026

V. Have $15K in liquid savings

VI. Have $3K in my investment portfolio

VII. Reach and maintain my goal weight of 160 lbs

VIII. Get a real boyfriend

IX. Prepare myself to pivot into the O's Rep/RE Development side

I am ready for a change of pace in life. I notice that as of late, I'm far less critical of the experiences life is bringing my way, and thus, far less critical of myself. That's reassuring for someone who was always suspicious of what was occuring around her and what it "meant" (perhaps implied is a better word) about her and her worth. Often, I would rather go hungry than eat what I felt didn't look like the life I felt I deserved. It was far less egotistical in my head - it was much less "I'm deserving of better" and moreso "if I accept this lukewarm experience, what does it mean about me?" - that internal interrogation is less common these days, and so my internal state feels much less corrosive. 

All this to say, I am deeply grateful for the changes that have occured, and I am looking forward to the future. I am always looking towards the future, but for once, I was imagine living inside it, rather than simply imagining it. 

- vetiveroil