GOLD NECKLACE

 August 31st, 2026

Yesterday, despite much effort, I still took myself to the gym for a Zone 3 workout.

I'm in my Follicular phase, so the output was solid, it almost felt too easy, which is crazy, because I hadn't been to the gym in about 2.5 weeks. Anyway, somewhere along the way, I lost my beautiful 18K gold necklace that I got last September and loved so much. I went back to look for it, no luck. 

I had binged the entire weekend prior, spent last week fighting off the urge to binge, and all that led me to feeling fearful that I was turning back to old habits - food as comfort. 

I left my phone number and name with the front desk, but I am not sure it'll be returned. I went back to the Etsy vendor I bought it from, only to see their store had been shut down. I've been ina. sour mood since. 

I guess there's a few lessons to be learned:

Obsessing and rushing over making the right decision is sometimes more detrimental than not acting at all. 

If you love something, keep it somewhere it'll be protected, rather than showing it off. 

Besides all that, I am just grieving a beloved possession, among many other things. Today was a good day, despite my bracing for it not to be. I guess I do that unconsciously - bracing. Not just for something bad, but for the absolute worst. Even when it doesn't occur in real life, I'd have gone through all of the motions in my own mind, so it really might as well have occured. Seems fear is a bigger driver to me than all else, and I really resent that. Maybe that's futile, because that's the human side of me, and I shouldn't resent it, because it doesn't change much at all. 

I am sad over my gold necklace. I am sad over the things I'll never do or experience effortlessly. I am sad over the stuff I've experienced before. I am sad over the person said stuff has forged me into. I am sad over the state of my house as a result. 

I have a long day coming up tomorrow, so I am wanting to simply ride out this melatonin high in bed. 

I'm reminding myself of something:

That wheel is always turning. Sometimes it'll feel like all hope is lost, but I've ridden that wave before, and I know that on the other side lie wonders I never imagined possible. 

- vetiveroil