NON-NEGOTIABLES

 June 6th, 2026

I have been in a rumination spiral. 

So many changes, and they're coming at me so quickly, and so I have to cut out all of the noise and stick to the things that are non-negotiable. I keep reminding myself to go back to the basics before I stretch forward. I've been spiraling at the overwhelming changes ahead, but I realize walking a mile starts with putting one foot in front of the other, and not darting to that point all at once. It's humbling. Part of me is always feeling that if I am not improving, tweaking, refining, and so on that I am falling back into my old ways. I am letting my life pass me by without participating in it. I want a lot out of myself, and so there's an ever present flame within that causes me to want to move, but often times, I'm spiraling in place, rather than moving towards a certain point. 

I guess I want my life to show this:

I have been putting tremendous effort into making myself a good home. Typically we are afforded the luxury of inheriting a home when we are born, but I do not care to inherit mine. Not because there aren't genuine things to love, but because I want my own. I want my efforts to be reflected on me, not just in me. 

Anyway, In an effort to take myself and my health seriously, I have been contemplating a list. 

I wrote them down on a flashcard and tacked it on my vision board:

I think I'll make another copy and keep it at my work desk. 

I realize that going forward, one critical skill I'll have to learn is the skill of focusing. My mind has a tendency of being very diffused. Buckets here, buckets there. I'm never really good at staying put. I guess partly that comes from this pressure to make sure I am taking several things into account in my home-building. I want to ensure that foundation is steady, but also I care about the finishing. Not that those two aren't important, but phasing all of this work will be critical. Everyday there will be something new to gawk at, but I'll never be able to hang curtains if I never finish building walls for them. I guess I'll be toggling in between tasks, and it's wholly unproductive. 

I am tempted to write out a detailed twenty four month plan, and I also see the futility in that. In practice, putting one foot in front of the other will have to look like:

Focusing on the mentor I am meeting tomorrow, along with the walk club.

Then injecting my peptide, and doing my laundry.

Afterwards, making my bed, folding and sorting my clothes. 

After that, sweeping my floor, and tidying up any loose ends. 

Once that's done, I am:

Focusing on this upcoming week. Getting my projects moved ahead. 

Then..

Focusing on the weekend, getting my closet at least semi-prepped. 

And then...

Transitioning out of that role, finally. 

After that,

I will focus on starting this job, and getting through my probationary period. 

Before I create any grand plans, I want to ensure I understand what value can be extracted from being in this environment. Off the strength of the commute, I already understand it will require me to be disciplined with time and effort, I will have to become a more efficient planner to get in all of my non-negotiables squeezed into a day. Secondly, I believe the environment will require me to build better EQ. Historically I just didn't deal with people very much. That will have to change. I believe I will have to be more of the world generally. 

I am above all, grateful for the quantum leap into a new life.

- vetiveroil