LIFE PHILOSOPHY

 April 21st, 2026

I once saw a video on YouTube, and a man was saying that most women do not have a life philosophy. 

A framework by which they structure their lives and make decisions. That most women live their lives in reaction to whatever circumstances exist in front of them, and rinse and repeat.

I take everything that comes out of a misogynist's mouth with a grain of salt, but I felt that was worth listening to, partly because based on observation and my own first hand account, it rang true. 

When I heard that, I was neck deep in an exploitative job. I was in a codependent friendship with someone I long began to understand was not working out, but lacked the courage to admit that to myself. I did not have a good relationship with my family, I was running from myself, and I was thoroughly lost. 

That version me of lives at the back of my mind, still. 

I've become quite fixated on forging myself into the antithesis of that I once was: passive, fearful, slow to move, a ruminator, creative, set on 'purpose', and so on. These days, the things I love most about me is my drive, my ambition, my proactivity, my grit, my ability to enact change rather than simply wishing for it. I guess I realized somewhere along the line that change is possible, but only if I will it so. That there is no prince charming on a horse coming to get me and rescue me from my bad decisions. I have to be my own parent, my guardian, and that must produce someone with a lot of discipline. I've no idea what drawbacks this will produce down the line. Everything has a drawback, so I can't be naive enough to think that won't be the case here. 

The way I'm seeing it, whatever I can visualize, I can do. My life so far has been largely a result of my best thinking. I have a functioning brain, and thankfully, it's propelled me forward some, but I want more. I've been reflecting today on all that I'm avoiding, and what it's stalling for me. I'm writing out my fears associated with them, and kind of pushing myself to do it anyway. 

When I visualized, I saw myself doing two things:

• Completing a marathon (3K)
• Having my dream body/appearance (from a cellular level)
• Pivoting into the role I am pining after currently

That's all, but that's enough to work with. Visualization (for me) works best when I have some level of proximity or exposure to what I am wanting. So I am going to keep exposing myself to the things that I want until they become my reality. 

I'm working on me, and for right now, that's the highest form of purpose I can have.

- vetiveroil