AGENCY

 April 17th, 2026

Today was one of those days where it all goes right and I'm reminded that life doesn't have to be so heavy and scary all of the time. 

For starters, I took my certification exam and passed. I worked out, enjoyed the sun and warm weather, and then towards the afternoon, met up with a girlfriend of mine (S) and we giggled and cackled over food. She brought me a cake decorated with kiss motifs' (to commemorate my recent first kiss with the guy I am seeing). We then saw a movie, and afterwards, she gifted me a bouquet, some alcohol, a box of extra thin condoms, and lube. This level of thoughtfulness could only come from a Virgo moon woman, so I'm reeling it in.

Once I saw it, I decided to FaceTime the same guy and showed him the gifts as we giggled. It ended in him calling me later that night, and us on the brink of another argument. 

I say all this, to document a great day, and also to finally pen my thoughts on agency. 

What it means to have it, what it looks like in practice, and whether I'm living on the low or high end of that spectrum, and so on.  I'm still reeling it all in emotionally, but it taught me something valuable about agency and the importance of acting, at least according to my own psychology. 

I think taking the step to register for that exam, despite not feeling fully confident in my ability to see it through had an incredibly high ROI - now I'm credentialed and able to access a wide network of professionals within my industry. That's pretty neat.

Emboldened, I've decided to write a list of things I am going to pursue next. Some are a bit extreme, but they are things I desire - I'm making an effort not to dissect the desire too much, but to simply reach out and grab them. These things include:

The body composition of my dreams (early/sub 20% BFP)

Stepping into a new company and a different income bracket

Becoming a runner

Carving out a lane for a 2nd income

Seems as though I am quite the strategist and I get whatever I want when my back's against a wall. That's a huge upside for me, and I can hack my psychology quite easily.

Thank you, God for today. I don't get many, but they are like honey on the tongue. 

- vetiveroil